Midge Lane


When we marry, we expect to marry for life. Yet close to 50% of all marriages end in divorce. The sense of loss we feel when our marriage breaks down has been compared to that of a death in the family. During this already stressful time, we often need to take on the challenging tasks of resolving issues of custody and access to children and to agree on how to divide the matrimonial assets.

If you are considering or already experiencing separation and divorce, you will have a great variety of concerns. You may be asking yourself whether you have tried hard enough, or tried in the right way, to strengthen your relationship. How accepting or forgiving should you be about substance abuse behaviour or infidelity? Perhaps you cannot imagine how to live a life that does not include the person who has been so central to your life. Or, you may feel confident that separation is the right choice for you but worry about how your children will adjust.

Is your life touched by any of these concerns? Have you felt pushed and pulled in different directions by family or friends who may have a personal stake in what you decide?

Many people find it helpful to speak with an experienced professional who can provide important objectivity. Through counselling, some couples on the brink of divorce engage in a process that leads to a stronger and more resilient relationship. For others the counselling helps clarify that they are separating for valid reasons. It also helps them learn steps to make the separation process work as well as it can for all concerned.